Plants die in the winter
never in reverse
Plants die in the winter and theres nothing we can do about it. I looked around at my plant babies, once luscious with bright and dark greens, now slowly withering with yellow and brown spotted leaves.
At first,I felt bad that yet another winter I couldn’t keep them alive. This year I take a new perspective by watching the leaves and studying them as they droop and hang showing no signs of life. I thought that the plants were a reflection of me. Taking care of myself this December has looked very different. I’m reshaping how I do this and I thought maybe I neglected them in the process.
I have been watering and tending to the plant babies but the outside conditions aren’t conducive to their growth. Naturally the house is colder and although I have several windows the sun light doesn’t hit like it did in the apartment before. So in all honesty everything is happening as it should. It is simply me who is a reflection of them.
I have found myself withering, incubating and sitting within.
Several leaves have fallen and I did not bend down to pick them up. I’m listening more and speaking less.
“There are forms of awareness that don’t always translate into words.”
So the permission slip is signed and granted for me to take a break from digital writing for now so I can focus on caring for my energy, reflect on where I’ve been, where I want to go, how and with whom.
One thing that I’ve discovered about myself during this time is that I enjoy communal cooking and I want to cook with my friends more in 2024, I enjoy Sci-Fi movies mixed with action so I’ll be watching more of that, and I haven’t written in my journal like I used to for some time now.
It wasn’t until the first draft copy of the journal I’m creating (launching in 2024) arrived on December 16th that I noticed how I had been cut off from the true root of my own self-expression. Yes I was writing here and in my google doc journal
But we all know that there is nothing like pen to paper.
Trying to keep up with the fast paced digital age, typing on the laptop slowly took over as my form of “writing”. I overwatered myself with the constant movement both physically and mentally. I was integrating without giving myself ample space to contemplate.
I know that my purpose takes the form of inspiring, empowering and uplifting others through my voice no matter if I’m writing or speaking but it is okay for me to save purpose for myself.
Wisdom is alchemizing behind the scenes
and as weird as it feels to put this away for a while as I have gained so much momentum here that I have come to love and appreciate, I can’t ignore my body’s request to dive deeper into this larva stage of my metamorphosis.
Just like the larva stage my zest for life has grown even bigger, I’m very hungry for living.
I have learned so much this year. I have so many ideas and plans I'll be stepping into it.
Stimulation, excitement and actions are all good but without proper rest it can lead to burn out.
So I’m taking a lesson from the plants in my home because they die and take breaks in the winter, never in reverse.
Me: Babe the plants are dying
Him: No they aren’t dying they are just going to the after life to reincarnate
So I’ll be spending time with life for the time being with no fear of being left behind or forgotten about in the digital world. I know I will remerge when the time is right and this is how I’m honoring the cycles of life.
Take care
xoxo Tiana
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i started back actively journaling again this december and totally forgot how just jotting down the smallest things make me more in tune with myself. i also cooked for some friends a few sundays ago and felt so warm! it’s so important to have those easy low pressure moments with friends that we do not do enough as adults. you’re amazing and i loved reading this.
Thank you for making me stop and think this morning!