letting the mess be

You ever feel so exhausted from your battle wounds that there is absolutely no time to lick the wounds? That’s how I feel.

If the lesson of learning how to embrace the mess wasn’t loud and clear to me this past week then my name isn’t actually Tiana it’s anait… and i’m certain my name is Tiana.

It’s to the point that I can no longer talk. I actually woke up today with no voice and if you ever tried to talk with no voice then you know that trying to produce sounds takes more energy since the voice box is damaged. Funny thing is, I know that my voice is my prize possession without my voice what am I really?

Tomorrow I’m going to practice silence, reframing from speaking period. The call to do this is powerful and when my body speaks I listen.

I admit there is something that is mildly satisfying about “giving up” and “throwing in the towel”. It allows us to soak up our problems and blame it on nothing ever going right aka the famous line “It’s always something”. And if nothing ever goes right then to me that is basically telling myself to stay down, don’t get back up.

When “it’s always something” immediately floods my psyche it makes me feel victim to life itself as if life is never on my side but that’s a lie.

Life is on our side and it’s always important to remember the times when things did work out instead of thinking that the mess is the final stage.

I offer another solution of maybe….just maybe letting the mess be. Picking up the pieces and cleaning up where you know your contribution is needed but otherwise, letting the chips fall the way they will.

it’s ok to be tired, it’s ok to not have all the answers, it’s ok to want to give up, it’s okay to be done with life, it’s ok to get down on yourself, it’s ok for shit to be messy just always remember to get back in the game.

I strive to create moments for interaction in everything that I do so If you would like to ask me a question , I will answer it on my next post just fill out this form. All questions are anonymous so don’t hold back.

love, tiana

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